


Diamond Soul

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anyway Beau gets new relatives cuz she deserves good things only and her current ones suck ass, Brief mentions of ritual suicide, Consecuted Beau, F/F, It's all free reign after that, Mostly canon compliant up to episode 99, Panic Attacks, Reincarnation, Temporary Character Death, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25019215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Beau frowns. She can still remember what she’d seen clearly, but it doesn’t feel like a vision. “No it was… it felt like… like a memory almost? Like something that happened to me a long time ago, only I wasn’t me, I was… someone else.”—In which Beau discovers she’s a consecuted soul who got lost when the Beacons were stolen. And a pretty important one at that.If I mess up any details/timelines/characterization it’s cuz there hasn’t been an episode for CENTURIES and I forgot. Just call it an AU.——In all likelihood I won’t be continuing this; my interest in the show has dwindled considerably since the return from hiatus
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 52
Kudos: 252





	1. Beau

The first time it happens, they’ve just gotten back from TravelerCon. Caleb draws his circle and they all bundle themselves through it, away from the warm sun of Rumblecusp and back to the cold stone of the Lucid Bastion. The guards must be used to them by this point, and barely even turn to look at them as they pass out of the teleportation chamber. They don’t even flinch when Jester skips up to one of them and sticks a tropical flower in the side of his helmet.

“Jester! Leave the nice guards alone, please.” Fjord tries his best impression at his stern-captain-voice, but even he’s having a hard time keeping the laughter out of it, Beau notices. She can’t blame him; they’re all in a good mood after the weekend they’ve had, and gods know she’s grinning like an idiot watching the blue tiefling bounce around decorating stoic guards. None of them engage her, but they don’t stop her, either. Some of them even crack a smile.

“Fj-ord! Everyone likes being pretty!” Jester pouts as she adorns the last guard in the hallway and walks backwards out the huge double doors at the front of the Bastion. They all exit after her, Fjord bringing up the rear, apologizing profusely for the disturbance. 

Yasha looks up into the perpetual night that covers Rosohna and, more to herself than the rest of the group, says, “After so long in the sun, it feels almost a shame to return somewhere it never shines.” The others nod and murmur their agreements, but Beau can’t find it in herself to echo the sentiment. It’s strange, but the cool darkness feels almost like a comforting blanket.  _ When did that happen? _

“I do wonder how they do it,” Caleb muses. “It must be an incredibly powerful dunamantic enchantment to cover such a large area in perpetuity.”

“I bet Essek knows; you should make him teach you, since he basically has to do whatever we want now” Veth says.

“I don’t think it’s just a spell; the last time I inquired he told me I ‘do not have the proper clearance’. Besides, I believe we have more… pressing matters to discuss where Essek is concerned.”

Beau frowns. That’s not right. She distinctly remembers being shown the device that generates Rosohna’s night. Surely the rest of the group must have been there for that.

“Nah, it’s that bigass black ball, remember? The one they keep in the Bastion? Nightfall pearl or some shit, size of Veth’s head?”

Beau takes a few more steps before she realizes the group has stopped walking. And they’re all staring at her. Caleb clears his throat. 

“Um, nein, Beauregard, I do not remember this. When did this happen?”

Now she’s even more confused. “What? I dunno, like a while ago? We asked about it and the Bright Queen showed it to us, no big deal.”

“Beau, that absolutely did not happen,” Fjord says.

And now Beau’s pissed. She crosses her arms and looks him dead in the eye. “What, you saying I’m crazy or something? Look man, I know what I’m talking about. Spooky black night orb is kinda hard to forget.”

Caleb puts a hand on her shoulder, “Nobody thinks you are crazy, Beauregard, we just were not there. Perhaps you were shown it alone and simply misremembered?”

Beau relaxes, just a little. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Even then, I have to say it’s a little concerning that you’re talking to the Bright Queen and not telling us about it,” Fjord says.

Beau’s about to snap back when Jester pops up in front of her, grabbing her hands and pulling her back down the path. “Leave her alone Fjord, we still have celebrating to do! And I have to paint like, sooooo many things!”

This doesn’t seem to placate him completely, and Beau’s not really ready to let it drop either, but she never can say no to those bright purple eyes or that slightly pointy smile, so she lets herself be dragged along next to Jester. 

Nobody brings it up again.

-

When it happens again, the Nein are gathered a few days later on the first floor of the Xorhouse for another “concert.” Or at least, most of them are. Caleb left beforehand with a halfhearted excuse about “needing a quiet place to read.” Fjord offered a much less diplomatic, “Fuck that, I value my hearing.”

Beau kinda enjoys the chaos, though. It’s hard  _ not  _ to enjoy it when Jester clearly loves it so much. So she sits in the corner and watches with a smile on her face while Jester, Caduceus, and Yasha practice and Veth “conducts.” The current song comes to a cacophonous end, and Veth puts her hands on her hips and gives a slow, approving nod.

“I think we actually had something resembling a key that time. Excellent work!” she proclaims.

“I dunno, it feels like we’re still missing something,” says Jester, tapping her chin. She looks around the room, and her eyes light up when they land on Beau. “Ooh! I know! You should join us, Beau! I bet you’re a great musician!”

Beau scoffs. “Jessie, the Cobalt Soul taught me a lot of shit but musical prowess was not one of them. And I don’t have an instrument.”

“Pssh, like that’s stopping the rest of us. C’mooooon, you don’t gotta play an instrument, you can just sing for us!” Caduceus and Yasha nod along with her like this is the obvious solution to their problems. 

“I think I’m just gonna keep spectating, Jessie, sorry.”

Jester’s face falls, and for a brief moment it almost makes Beau reconsider, but soon enough that mischievous sparkle is back in her eyes and she continues on ahead. 

“We should ask the  _ Bright Queen  _ to sing for us! I bet she sings like, suuuuper pretty.”

“I think the Bright Queen might have more important things to be doing, Jester,” says Caduceus. 

“Please, we’re like, the best ever, what’s more important than hanging out with us?”

“Plus she can’t carry a time to save her life. If you want someone to sing to you you should ask Quana,” Beau adds. 

Now everyone’s staring at her again. It feels like it’s becoming a regular occurrence. 

“What?” she asks, suddenly self conscious. 

“Who’s Quana?” asks Jester. 

Beau frowns. “You know, Dusk Captain Quana. Leylas’ partner? Intimidating armored drow lady that’s always hanging out behind her?”

“That does sound a bit familiar,” says Yasha. 

“And how would you know what either of their singing sounds like?” asks Veth. 

“What? I mean, I…” Beau stops. That’s… a good question actually. She can hear Quana’s gentle voice clearly in the back of her mind, but she cannot think of  _ why _ .

Suddenly Jester’s leaning down right in front of her. “Beau, did you like, become best friends with the Bright Queen and not tell us?” Her eyes go wide and she gives a little scandalized gasp, covering her mouth with her hand. “Are you like…” Jester waggles her eyebrows. 

Beau goes bright red. “What? No! Gods, ew, Jester, no. Ew! No!”

“Beau, are you feeling okay? You’re very flushed.” Good old Cad, nothing gets past him. 

“Yeah, I’m just… I’m just gonna head to bed, I think.” 

They keep giving her those concerned looks as she stands and gently pushes past Jester and up the stairs, but none of them try to stop her. 

-

Beau is restless for the rest of the week. It feels like there’s an itch or something right at the back of her mind that she just can’t scratch. She tries meditating, but it feels… crowded, in her head, and she can’t seem to quiet her thoughts. 

The absolute worst part, though, is that the rest of the group keeps giving her these  _ looks _ , like they’re worried about her but don’t know quite why, or what to say. Beau hates it, hates feeling like she’s being  _ pitied,  _ and a few times she almost snaps at one of them over it. But she’s trying to be better with them, to not immediately lash out when she feels vulnerable, and she lets it go. 

So the next weekend, when Jester declares, “We should get in a  _ fight _ !” Beau is all too willing to agree. 

Veth jumps up on a barstool and declares herself referee. “Alright ladies, I want a nice clean fight! No weapons, no eye poking, no hair pulling, no stunning or magically incapacitating! We go until one of you gives up or passes out! Jester, you get to use magic cuz otherwise it wouldn’t be fair, but no polymorphing and no banishing Beau!”

Jester sticks her tongue out at Nott, but she’s got a huge smile on her face as she squares up. Beau grins. It’s really been too long since they’ve done this. 

“Fight!”

Beau launches into action with a quick flurry of blows. Most of them land, but Jester is as always faster and tougher than she looks, and she has to dodge back quickly to avoid a shot from giant spectral lollipop. They go back and forth for what seems like ages but is really probably less than a minute, trading blows and dodging spells, until Beau slips, and lets herself get distracted by how  _ beautiful  _ Jester looks when she fights. Jester takes the moment to get under her guard, placing her palm against Beau’s chest and letting loose a burst of necrotic energy that Beau recognizes as inflict wounds. 

She feels her heart stutter, just for a moment, as the magic passes through her, but she grits her teeth and pushes through it, prepares a counterattack, and then…

_ She’s lying in bed, looking up at two grief-stricken and tear-streaked faces. They’re both drow women, and yet they feel like home. She looks down at where the nearest of the two clutches her hand in hers, and discovers not brown skin, but deep, shadowy violet.  _

_ Her heart beats erratically in her chest, and her breaths come short and labored. She’s so  _ cold,  _ everything is so  _ cold.  _ She tries to speak but can’t form words. The woman holding her hand chokes back a sob and buries her head against her chest, and now she finds that she’s crying, too, but she isn’t sure why. Everything should be fine, shouldn’t it? _

_ The other woman steps closer, reaches out and brushes a hair away from her face. She has a gentle smile on her face as she says softly, “Don’t be afraid, little one. Rest now, and we will see you again soon.” _

_ She lets out one final breath, and tries to smile as the woman gently presses a kiss to her forehead. The world starts to fade away, and she hears the other one call out her name, only it is not her name, it’s… _

-

Beau can’t breathe. She can feel her heartbeat, hear the blood rush in her ears, and it’s all too much. It’s pressing in on her, crushing her. 

Right in front of her she can hear Jester calling for her. She sounds like she’s crying, and it hurts Beau so much that she desperately tries to answer, but her dry throat closes around the words. Somewhere in the distance, Veth shouts for Caleb. 

She pushes back, finds a wall, pulls her knees against her chest, desperately tries to anchor herself…

There are hands on her shoulders, warm and firm. 

“Beauregard, I need you to breathe slowly with me. Can you do that, meine Schwester?”

It’s Caleb. She nods, tries to slow her frantic breathing. 

“Gut. Now I would like for you to name five things you can see, please.”

“You, Jessie, Veth, ummm. The walls. Myself.”

“Four you can feel?”

“Shit, uh. The floor, the wall, your hands. Split lip.”

“Three you can hear?”

“You, me, Jester’s tail thumping the floor.” That one stops as soon as she says it. 

“You are doing very well, Beauregard. Can you tell me two things you can smell?”

“Jester’s perfume and uh, smoke?”

“Ja, That would be me; I have been… practicing some things. Only one more, something you can taste?”

“Blood. From the split lip.”

“Very good, Beauregard. Are you back with us now?”

She nods. Caleb stands and pulls her to her feet. As soon as he steps back, she suddenly has an armful of blue tiefling. 

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” she cries into her shoulder. 

“I believe Beauregard has simply had a panic attack, Jester. It is something I am… quite familiar with. It is not your doing. Can you tell me what happened?”

Beau holds onto Jester, gently rubs her hand in circles over her back. “We were uh, sparring. She got me with a spell and I just… blacked out, or something. It didn’t knock me out, this was… different. When I came to everything was just…”

She waves a hand around as if to explain, not really sure how to put it into words. “Thanks, Caleb. For uh. That.”

He shakes his head. “Nein, it is not a problem. You have done the same for me many times. You should perhaps sit down and allow Jester to heal you. I’ll have Caduceus make some tea, and then I believe we should have a chat, ja?”

He turns towards the kitchen, Veth following alongside. Beau manages to pull away from Jester just long enough to sit on the couch, and then she’s fussing over her, healing the cuts and bruises from their fight, still sniffling but not crying anymore. 

“That was so  _ scary _ , Beau! I hit you and you just froze for like, a whole minute, and then you just kinda fell over and started shaking and it was like you couldn’t hear me and I was so scared because it was just a little inflict wounds it shouldn’t have done that and…”

Beau grabs Jester’s shoulders gently. “Jessie! It’s okay, I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me. That was… I don’t really know what that was, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you.”

Jester pulls away, wipes her face on the sleeve of her dress. “What happened though? Cuz you were, like,  _ super  _ out of it for  _ so  _ long. Did you have like, a magic vision or something?” Her eyes go a little wide. “Cuz that would be like,  _ suuuper  _ cool, even if it was kinda scary.”

Beau frowns. She can still remember what she’d seen clearly, but it doesn’t feel like a vision. “No it was… it felt like… like a memory almost? Like something that happened to me a long time ago, only I wasn’t me, I was… someone else.”

She pulls her knees up to her chest again. “I think I  _ died.  _ Or like, the person I was in the memory did. It felt like dying, at least. And there were two other women there, and they both looked so sad…”

Jester wraps her in another bear hug.  _ Fuck, she’s really strong _ . “Jessie? Jess! I need to breathe please!”

Jester pulls away, sniffling again. “That sounds so awful, Beau. But you’re never gonna have to feel like that again, cuz I’m  _ always  _ gonna heal you, okay?”

Beau gives her a smile. “ I know, Jess. I know”

“Did you like,  _ know  _ either of them? The sad ladies?”

Now  _ there’s  _ a question. Because it sure felt like she had, at the time. They had seemed so familiar. Almost like…

Beau’s smile vanishes, because now she’s  _ mad.  _ Because she knows  _ exactly  _ who they were, and they have  _ no  _ business being in her head. 

“I’m going to talk to the Bright Queen. Right now.”

She barely notices Jester’s confusion as she jumps off the couch, barely hears her call after her as she grabs her coat and runs out into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit she’s writing again.
> 
> No beta reading we die like kobolds fighting fire giants.
> 
> I’ve got more planned for this but I don’t have any kind of schedule. It’ll get done when it’s done. The second chapter is a bit shorter, you might see it today.


	2. Jester

“What? Beau, wait, where are you going? It’s the middle of the night, Beau! Beau!”

Jester stands in the open doorway, watching Beau run away from her. _What in the hells was that?_

“I take it we _won’t_ be having tea, then?”

Jester turns around to see Caleb return with the rest of the Mighty Nein. Caduceus is holding a tray of tea cups and snacks. 

“Jester, what happened to Beauregard?” Caleb asks. 

She huffs. “I don’t _know_! We were just talking about her weird visions or whatever and then she got all mad and said she was gonna go see the Bright Queen or something.”

Several people start talking at once.

“She’s doing _what_?”

“Oh my gods she’s gonna get herself executed.”

“What do you mean, _visions_?”

“Jester, do you still have any spells remaining after your bout with Beauregard?”

That was a weird question. “Um. Yeah. It didn’t last that long, so...”  
  


“And have you prepared dimension door today?”

Jester gives Caleb a confused look. “Yeah, that’s on my default list. Caleb, why do you need to know what spells I can cast?”

Everyone is running around now, pulling on coats and shoes, grabbing weapons. Caleb hands Jester her own coat and says, “Because Fjord and I have been busy practicing our own spellcraft this evening, which means you are currently the only one of us capable of catching up with Beauregard at the moment, and I do not think she should be alone when she… does whatever it is she is doing, ja?”

“Or, you know, get her stop acting like an idiot and come home before she gets herself killed,” Fjord says as he rushes past her and through the door. As soon as everyone is gone and the door is shut and locked, Jester nervously pulls on her coat and casts her spell.

-

It takes a few castings to get all the way to the Lucid Bastion, but when Jester steps out of thin air in the foyer area (much to the great surprise of the guards there, who nearly draw weapons on her before recognizing her and just giving her a stern admonishing instead), she can’t see any sign that Beau beat her there. She doesn’t have to wait long, as it turns out, as Beau pushes open the doors and stalks into the Bastion. She stops dead when she sees Jester waiting for her.

“Jess, what are you _doing_?”

“What are _you_ doing? You just ran out and it’s the middle of the night and everyone was worried you were gonna do something to get yourself hurt!” Jester shouts at her.

Beau looks stunned for a moment, like this was the first time she actually considered where she was and what she was planning. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose and asks, “Fuck, are the rest of them coming, too?”

Jester crosses her arms and puts on the sternest look she can muster. “Yeah, but I was the only one that could teleport and you’re faster than all the rest of us so I got here first.”

Beau stays silent for a moment, processing, maybe, and then continues walking further into the Bastion. “Fine, then I suppose I should try to get this done before they get here. You can come if you want, but don’t try to stop me. I need answers like, yesterday.”

Jester nods, and follows behind. Beau walks like she’s on a mission, and Jester nearly has to jog to keep up with her. It’s only a couple of minutes before they’ve made it to the back part of the Bastion, and two guards are stepping in front of a door and holding up their hands to stop them.

“Halt. State your business.”

“I need to see the Bright Queen. Right now.”

“The Empress has already retired for the evening, and even if she hadn’t she doesn’t take audiences on demand. If you return to the front and speak to the attendant she can take down a request and you can…”

“No, it’s important, I need to see her _right now_.”

The guards put their hands on their weapons; Jester is starting to get really nervous. “Um, Beau, I think maybe we should just come back tomorrow? I can send her a message for you if you want.” She puts a hand on Beau’s shoulder, and is immediately shrugged off.

“If you continue to be belligerent you will force us to place you under arrest.”

“Look! Just. Just tell her it’s about Denna.”

Jester doesn’t know that she’s ever seen a drow go pale, but that’s the only way she can think of to describe the look that the guard gives Beau.

“I’ll, um. I’ll take your message to her. Wait here, please.”

With that, he disappears through the door behind him, and the other guard steps into his place, still keeping a hand on her sword. Jester is stunned. “Um, Beau, what’s going on? Who’s Denna? Why did he look like that when you said that?”

Beau turns and puts her hands on Jester’s shoulders. “Jessie, I promise I’ll explain in a minute, I just… I need to know if I’m losing my mind first.” The look in her eyes is so intense and sad and confused all at once that Jester can’t do anything but nod and stand next to her while they wait. After a few minutes, the door opens again, much more forcefully, and the Bright Queen herself, wearing a night robe almost as regal as her court outfit, rushes out, followed by the guard from before and another drow woman that Jester is pretty sure she’s seen before.

_That must be Quana, right?_

“What is the meaning of this? You come into my home in the middle of the night, making demands and invoking names you have no right to use. I should have you…”

“What did you do to me?”

Whatever the Empress was expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. It’s the first time Jester’s seen her momentarily stunned since they presented her the first Beacon. She recovers quickly, though, pulling herself up straight, while the other woman has a whispered conversation with the two guards. “I assure you, Beauregard, we have placed no enchantments or illusions upon you. Why are you making these accusations?”

“Cuz I’ve been messed up all week, ever since we got back. It feels like there’s like, too much shit in my head, or something, and I know things that there’s absolutely no reason for me to know, and now I’m seeing like, visions or some shit, and _you’re_ in them. So what did you _do_ to me?”

Now things are just weird. The Bright Queen actually looks speechless, and the other woman has stopped talking and is just staring at Beau with her mouth slightly open. Beau is the most surprising, though. She’s _crying_. It makes Jester’s heart break. 

Naturally, this is the exact moment the rest of the Nein comes through the other door.

“We are _so_ so sorry for Beau, your Majesty. She’s had a rough evening and she just needs to get some sleep, so we’ll take her out of your hair and I swear this will…”

The Bright Queen holds up a hand and Fjord stops talking. She looks over her shoulder at the two guards and says, “You are dismissed. Quana will retrieve you when our business has concluded. The rest of you, I think, should stay for this.”

“With all due respect, my Queen, you-”

“Are perfectly well protected,” the other woman - _definitely Quana, then_ \- interjects. “Please step out, and I will come and get you when we’re done, as the Queen instructed.”

The guards look at each other, then bow before stepping around the rest of the Mighty Nein and closing the door behind them. The Bright Queen clears her throat and takes a step toward Beau.

“Now then, Beauregard, if you would please tell us what was in this… vision of yours, then perhaps we can get this cleared up?” she says in a voice far softer than Jester expected.

Beau takes a deep breath and rubs her tears on her arm. “It was like, I was seeing through someone else’s eyes. Or like, I _was_ them, cuz I could feel them breathing and shit, and I felt _awful_ , and you were there, and you were crying. And you were there, too,” she says, pointing toward Quana. “You called them, me, whatever, ‘little one,’ or something like that.” If Quana’s mouth wasn’t hanging open already, it certainly was now.

She stops for a second, and then chokes out, “And then I _died_. And the last thing I heard was you calling me Denna.”

Silence falls over the group as Beau finishes, partially because what she’s saying is so bizarre, and partially because now _the Bright Queen_ is crying, too. Then she shocks all of them by wrapping her arms around Beau in a hug. And Beau shocks them all again by _hugging back_. It’s such a strange thing to witness, it feels almost wrong to break the quiet, somehow.

Yasha is the first one to speak up, raising her hand cautiously like she’s in class. “Um. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think the rest of us are very confused? What is happening right now?”

Quana answers her, quietly, “Almost a century and a half ago, Leylas and I had a daughter. We named her Denna, and her existence is not exactly public information. Twenty-seven years ago, the day after two of the Beacons were stolen from us, she passed away. A weakness in her heart that the healers could not repair. We thought the Beacons would have been too far away by then, that her consecution would mean nothing and we had lost her forever.”

“And what, um, what does this have to do with Miss Beau?” Caduceus asks.

Quana takes a steadying breath and says, “Because I think your friend may be experiencing something we call anamnesis.”

“Oh, _Scheiße_ ,” Caleb mutters.

“Caleb? What is she saying?” Jester asks. He looks like he might just pass out on the spot.

“Anamnesis is, um, as I understand it, a remembering? The process by which a consecuted soul regains the knowledge of their past selves and incorporates it into their current existence. I read up on it briefly, when we were still looking for a way to return Veth to her natural state,” he says. 

Jester looks at him, then at Beau, then back to Quana. “But… but Beau isn’t… consecuted, or, or whatever? Right? She’s from the Empire, they don’t do that. I don’t even think they know that _exists_.” 

Quana sighs. “No, but the Beacon cares very little for nationality. It simply finds the first infant in need of a soul within its influence, and joins them with the next consecuted soul within it. So if someone was still waiting for their rebirth when the Beacon was taken…”

“Then they’d show up in the Empire,” adds Veth.

“Or in any number of places within about a hundred miles of wherever they kept the Beacons. We’ve spent the last decade or so slowly recovering our people who have suddenly found themselves outside our borders. It is a very… traumatic experience, to undergo anamnesis without someone to guide you, or even the knowledge that it is a possibility. Especially if your first memory to reassert itself is a past death. I cannot imagine how frightening that must have been.”

Beau pulls away from the Bright Queen and wraps her arms around herself. She looks flustered, maybe embarrassed about the bizarre display of affection. _It’s kinda adorable, honestly._

Beau clears her throat and says, voice almost a whisper, “If that’s true, and I’m getting your kid’s memories, or whatever, then that would mean…”

The Bright Queen smiles so warmly it makes Jester think of her Mama, takes Beau’s face in her hands, and gently brushes away her tears with her thumbs. 

“Yes, Beauregard. It would mean that you’re our daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I did another one. Also I'm kinda on a roll now, so I'm gonna start on Chapter 3. I think it’s gonna be pretty long though, so I dunno if I'll finish it today.
> 
> I cannot for the life of me remember or find any mention of how long ago Essek turned over the Beacons to the Empire, so I'm making up a timeline to serve my own purposes.
> 
> Also I made a teeny error with the German in the first chapter, so I fixed that. I hope. I'm not a native speaker so feel free to correct me. Or like, let me know if you spot any other mistakes, cuz I'm not really proofreading this at all.


	3. Beau

“You’re a fucking  _ princess? _ ”

Beau flinches away from Veth’s screeching. “Dude, shut the fuck up, please. You have no  _ idea  _ the headache I have right now.”

The walk back home from the Lucid Bastion - following a promise from Leylas that she would clear her schedule the next day to help with Beau’s anamnesis, and accompanied by a pair of Quana’s personal guards now that she was, evidently, royalty - was made in silence, like there was some kind of unspoken agreement between them all that what had just transpired was too much to talk about in the streets, or around strangers. But now that they were safely back in the Xhorhouse, their guards left outside, it seemed the flood gates were open. 

“I think I’ll make us a fresh pot of tea,” says Caduceus. “Unless you would like to sleep, Miss Beau? I don’t think anyone here would blame you.”

Beau rubs her temples. There was no fucking way she was going to be sleeping like this, even if she was exhausted. “Nah, man, let's just get this over with. I’m going to be busy tomorrow, apparently.”

The group sheds their coats and boots, and gathers in the kitchen, where Caduceus is pouring tea. Frumpkin jumps up and wraps himself around Beau’s neck as she sits down, and she finds herself grateful for the warmth. Nobody seems to know how to start. 

“Okayyy, I’ll repeat my earlier question, then,” Veth ventures. “ _ You’re a fucking princess?” _

Beau sighs, and puts her head on the table and her hands on the back of her neck. “Shit, I mean, apparently? It’s not like I fucking  _ knew  _ about this or something. I’m just as shocked as you.”

“I would wager you are significantly more surprised than we are, Beauregard,” Caleb says. “I admit it is… quite the thing to learn about a friend, but we have all learned many new things about each other during the past few months. To discover you have an entire life that you did not know about… I think perhaps Yasha is the only one here that can relate to that.” He winces. “Entschuldigung, that was… insensitive.”

Yasha shakes her head. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I don’t think it’s really the same, though, not really.” She stares into her tea as though looking for something within it. “I think perhaps Molly would have understood.”

Beau can’t help but smile at that, because of course he would’ve, better than anyone here. “Gods, he would’ve been so fucking pissed,” she laughs. 

“I had to drag myself out of grave with nothing in the middle of nowhere and the unpleasant one gets to be a bloody princess? There is clearly no justice in the universe!” Fjord does his best Mollymauk impression, throwing his hands up in the air in mock exasperation. Everyone laughs at that, but it’s a sad laugh. “Yeah, he would’ve  _ hated  _ it.”

“He always despised the idea that he might remember who he was before, though. Said it had no bearing on who he was now, so why should he care.” Yasha says. 

“What about you, Beau? Do you hate it, too?” asks Jester in a small voice. 

They all stare at her again. “You know, I think the scariest part about all this shit is that I  _ don’t _ .” She pulls her legs up into her chair and hugs her knees against her chest, tries to make herself small. “I feel like it should feel bad, you know? Like I’m losing myself or something. But it doesn’t. It feels… not good, exactly, but like… right, now that I know what it is. And like, what if that means I’m already a different person? What if I go through all of this tomorrow and I’m completely different?” She’s crying again, which she hates. She hates getting all emotional. 

Caleb, who’s sitting closest to her, turns and pulls her into a hug. Which is awkward, because it’s Caleb, but it’s still comforting. “If it is any comfort, Beauregard, I do not believe that is how this works. You will have to ask the Bright Queen tomorrow, as I only touched the surface in my own research, but as I understand it it is more of a… completion, than a replacement. Personality seems to stay more or less constant between consecutions, even before anamnesis, and you will retain all the memories you have already of this life. And that is what counts, ja? That is what makes you you.”

He lets her go, but takes her face in his hands and presses his forehead against hers. “And regardless of what happens tomorrow, you will  _ always  _ be meine Schwester, and everyone in this room will  _ always  _ love you for who you are.”

The only thing that saves her from having a complete breakdown right there is Veth saying, “Oh my gods, think about how fucking  _ furious  _ your shithead father would be.” And somehow that’s exactly the right thing to break the tension, because it starts with a snort from Caduceus, and then a giggle from Jester, and then the whole table is laughing like they’ve just been told the funniest joke in the world.

“Can you imagine the  _ look  _ on his fucking face?”

“You should get them to make you like, a royal envoy or something so you can just ride up like ‘What’s up douchebag?’”

“Holy shit, Jester, send him a message like, right now!”

“Gods, no, Jester, please don’t,” Beau says, trying to catch her breath. “Just, like, fuck that guy. I don’t ever want to think about him again.”

As the laughter dies down, Caduceus stands up and starts collecting empty cups. “I don’t suppose you have a reason to anymore, either, seeing as you have a whole new set of parents now,” he says.

Beau hadn’t thought about that yet.  _ Gods, yeah, I do, don’t I? _

“Yeah, well, if they turn out as shitty as the first set I’m gonna murder them personally, cuz you’ve had way more than your fair share of terrible parents. So they better not be awful people,” Veth says.

“They’re not.”

Now it’s Jester’s turn to have everyone staring at her. She doesn’t look down or away, though; she looks directly into Beau, and her eyes are  _ so purple  _ that Beau thinks she might die a second time.

“I mean like, yeah they’ve probably done some shitty stuff, cuz they’ve been ruling a whole country for like, a thousand years or something, and nobody can be totally good for  _ that long  _ but like.” She gives Beau a soft little smile and reaches across the table to put her hand over hers. “They look at you like my Mama looks at me, Beau. They love you  _ so much, _ I can tell, and that’s what’s the most important, right?”

Beau’s heart feels like it wants to explode, and it’s not just because it’s  _ Jester  _ (though that’s certainly helping), but because as soon as she says it Beau  _ knows  _ it’s true. She doesn’t know how, not yet. That knowledge is still locked up in a hundred years of things she can’t remember. But she  _ knows  _ that her mothers love her, and that feeling is so  _ new _ , and so  _ amazing _ .

“I, um,” she mutters. “I think I’m gonna go to bed now. I’m like, so fucking tired.”

Beau stands up and leaves the kitchen to a chorus of  _ goodnights _ , and heads upstairs to the room she and Jester share. She almost doesn’t bother to change before getting in bed, she’s so exhausted.

A few minutes later, Beau hasn’t quite gotten to sleep yet when Jester comes in. She hears the door open and close, and the rustling of cloth as Jester puts on her nightgown, and then a creak from the floor next to Beau’s bed before Jester says, “Can I sleep with you tonight Beau?”

Beau doesn’t even answer, just scoots closer to the wall and lifts the sheets, and tries to stay facing away so Jester can’t see her blush.  _ Stupid darkvision _ . Jester slides in next to her and wraps an arm around her waist, lets her tail coil around her ankle, and presses her forehead against the back of Beau’s neck.

“I know this is all like, super scary and stuff, but I have a good feeling about it. I think this will be something amazing. So does the Traveler, if that means anything.” She giggles.

“Me, too, Jess. And uh, thanks Artagan, or whatever. Stop watching us sleep.” Another giggle from Jester.

“I love you, Beau.”

“Love you, too, Jess.”

_ So much. _

-

The next morning, they’re awoken by a knocking at their door.

“Mmmph, go away. Don’t wanna.” Jester cuddled up even more in her sleep and Beau could honestly stay like this forever.

“Beauregard, the ah, the Bright Queen has arrived.”

_ Shit. _ Beau shakes Jester awake. “Jess, I gotta get up, can I have my leg back please?” Jester barely grunts in her semi-aware sleepiness, but she does unwind her tail from around Beau’s ankle. Beau climbs over her gently, and then scrambles to make herself at least some sort of presentable before heading downstairs.

Sure enough, when she gets to the living room, there’s Leylas and Quana Kryn, two of the most powerful women in the world, just hanging out on their couch, being served breakfast and tea by Caduceus, who frankly looks about as shocked by the experience as Beau feels.

“This smells absolutely lovely, Caduceus, thank you,” the Empress says.

“Um. You’re welcome… your Majesty? I’m gonna be honest I’m not really sure what the protocol is for this situation,” he replies.

“Oh, you can just call me Leylas. I think after last night we’ve progressed a bit past formalities, don’t you? At least in private,” she tells him.

“Okay, sure. Can do,” Caduceus says, and walks back towards the kitchen, not looking particularly any more comfortable.

As he leaves, Leylas turns her head to see Beau standing at the bottom of the stairs and stands up to greet her. “Good morning, Beauregard; I hope you slept well?” She pulls her into a hug and Beau can’t find it in herself to not return it. Quana remains seated as Leylas returns to her spot on the couch and Beau sits in the chair across from them.

“Um. Yeah. Like a fucking rock, honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever been that tired in my life, which is saying something considering the shit we get up to,” Beau responds.

“The beginnings of anamnesis can be very tiring, yes. Especially if the first memory is not an especially pleasant one, which I cannot imagine yours was,” Quana says.

Beau laughs nervously and scratches at the back of her neck. “Uh, no, yeah, it kinda sucked if I’m being totally honest. Sorry to like, make you wait, I wasn’t really expecting we were gonna do this here?”

“It is better to do the meditation somewhere where you feel most comfortable; I assumed this would be much easier for you than in the Bastion,” Leylas says.

“Yeah, okay, that makes sense. I meditate in the garden on the roof sometimes, if that would be better?” Beau frowns. “Wait, no, we’ve got the whole daylight enchantment thing up there, you probably wouldn’t like that, huh?”

“If it makes you more comfortable, Beauregard, I’m sure we can arrange for some shade.”

Beau swallows and stands up. “Alright, let’s uh. Do this, then.”

Leylas smiles and takes Beau’s hands, gently pulling her back into her seat. “If you don’t mind, we would really like to get to know the woman our daughter has become in the last twenty-seven years first.”

“I’m, uh. Not really that interesting, sorry.”

“Psh, Beau, you’re like the coolest  _ ever _ , stop lying.” Jester has come downstairs now, and proceeds to flop down on the floor next to Beau. Beau blushes a little, and could swear that she catches Quana smirk at her a little.  _ Oh great, now I’m going to have to deal with that, too. _

“I’m afraid you’ve been caught out, Beau,” Quana says.

“Yup! I’m gonna be her awesomeness translator. You ask her stuff, and she’ll try to pretend like it wasn’t that big a deal, and then  _ I’ll  _ tell you how awesome Beau  _ actually  _ was, cuz if you’re gonna be like, her Mamas from now on then you have to appreciate her.” Beau is bright red now, trying to look away so Jester can’t see. Quana can still see, though, and that hint of a smirk has turned into full-on smugness.  _ Fuck. _

“Beau is lucky to have a…” Leylas looks between the two of them, a smile growing on her face, too now. “Friend. Like you.”

“ _ Best  _ friend.” Jester corrects.

“Of course.” Leylas turns to Beau again. “If you would rather skip this, Beau, we can always talk later. I don’t want you to feel like we’re interrogating you, and if you’re not comfortable and relaxed when we begin the meditation the process will be significantly more difficult.”

Beau sighs. “Okay. Sure, why not. What do you wanna know?”

“How about we start at the beginning?” Quana suggests.

So they do. Beau starts with her less-than-stellar childhood and tells them everything, and is at once both surprised and not how easy it is to tell them all the things she never tells anyone outside the Nein. They are - perhaps predictably - displeased with Beau’s description of her experience with her birth (rebirth?) parents.

“I don’t think I would like to ever meet these… Lionetts,” Leylas says. “They don’t sound particularly pleasant, and I don’t imagine I could ever forgive them for how they’ve treated you.”

“Oh they’re total dickheads.” Jester huffs, which gets a laugh out of both of them.

“Indeed,” Leylas says.

“The wine’s pretty decent, at least,” Beauregard says. “And my brother seems like a good kid. Hopefully he stays that way. Maybe I can show him Rosohna when he gets older.”

“I think that would be a lovely idea,” says Quana.

They go through all the early days, Jester exaggerating each encounter more and more, until they get to the Iron Shepherds and Molly’s death. Beau can’t help but swallow back tears as she talks about him, which earns her another warm, comforting embrace, this time from both of them.

“I’m so sorry, Beau. I wish we could have met him,” Leylas says.

“Me too,” she whispers, and it’s true. 

Eventually, minutes turn into hours, and the other members of the Nein come and go, offering their input wherever they’re involved. They leave out the most recent developments with Essek and some of the finer details of their involvement in the Empire. It’s so easy to forget that Leylas and Quana are incredibly intimidating, important people, and just think of them as new family, getting caught up on everything they’ve missed. Caduceus serves lunch and tea and they talk all the way through it.

“So yeah, that’s uh. Pretty much all of it,” Beau says. 

“I am… impressed? Perhaps a little concerned about a few things, but it’s clear that you and your friends do so much good,” Leylas says. “I’m so proud of you, Beau.”

Beau beams.

Quana stands up, gives her a hug, and picks up her coat. “Thank you, little one. That meant a lot to us. Now I’m afraid I have to be going, as I have some business that must be attended to. I believe the two of you do, as well,” she says, nodding to Beau and Leylas. She gives Leylas a quick kiss and then leaves.

“She is right of course, Beau. Now we have to do the hard part,” Leylas says. She stands at the same time as Beau and the two of them make their way toward the stairs. When Jester makes to follow them, Leylas puts a hand on her shoulder and stops her. “I’m sorry, darling, but it is better that Beau does this on her own. I fear she would find you… distracting.”  _ Oh come on, seriously? _

Jester’s face falls for a moment, but then she wraps her arms around Beau and murmurs into her neck, “Good luck, Beau! I’m sure it will be totally amazing.” She steps back and spins around to head into the kitchen. “I’m gonna help Caduceus make some  _ totally awesome  _ pastries so you guys can have a treat when you’re done! See you later!”

Beau gives her a little wave, then turns to head up the stairs, Leylas following behind.

“So. Is there something you forgot to mention during our talk? Something involving a blue tiefling, perhaps?” Leylas asks.

_ Fuck _ . Beau can  _ hear  _ the smirk on her face. She sighs. “Look. If you don’t want me distracted for this, then we’re gonna have to have that particular conversation another time.”

“Fair enough.”

-

When they reach the rooftop garden, they can see that one of the Nein has indeed set up a little shade cover near the tree. Leylas takes her place underneath it, squinting and covering her eyes as she passes through the daylight. Beau sits in front of her, back to the tree.

“Now then, I presume you have a few questions. You should ask them before we begin.”

Beau had a  _ lot  _ of questions, actually, but she decided to stick to the most important ones.

“Am I gonna like, just suddenly get it all dumped on me? Or are we gonna keep doing this?”

“Think of the meditation as like… releasing a dam. You’ll get quite a lot at first, but not all of it. The things that you consider the most important generally come quickly. The rest will come on it’s own, in time. If you have trouble with any of it at any point, you can always come back to me and I can help ease the process again.”

“Will I lose anything?”

“It’s possible that a few small things can be lost in the process, but nothing you hold dear or consider important. Just small things, like random facts and whatnot. You will usually regain them further along with the rest.

“And what about after? Are you gonna start calling me Denna? Are you expecting me to do like, political shit?”

“No and no. We value choice and free will over anything. Many people do not reuse their past names; I have always been Leylas, but I am something of an edge case, as it were. If you wish to continue being called Beau, then that is what we will call you.” That was a relief, at the very least. “As for the rest, you are more than welcome to join Quana and I or continue working with your friends, or any combination of the two. We would not try to force you into something you do not want, not that I think we could.”

Beau is quiet for a moment, then gets to the Big One: “Will I still be me?”

Leylas reaches her hands up to cup Beau’s face again. “Of course, Beau. Anamnesis changes nothing about your personality, it merely gives you the experience of your past lives. Generally speaking it tends to carry over between consecutions anyways. Besides, you are so much like, well… you. Brave and brash and loyal and headstrong. You have so much of Quana in you. Frankly I’m shocked I couldn’t see it at our first meeting.”

Beau feels a tear prick at her cheek. “Okay. Just one more then, I guess.”

“Anything you wish to know.”

“Does it hurt?”

This actually gets a laugh out of Leylas. “No, little one, it doesn’t hurt. Personally, I find it quite enjoyable. Especially since you have the most unpleasant part out of the way already.”

Well. Alright then.  _ Time to get this show on the road, I guess _ . 

“Show me what to do.”

Leylas places her hands in Beau’s, sits up a little straighter, and closes her eyes. Beau follows suit.

“I believe you are quite familiar with meditation. I’m sure they’ve taught you how to find your favorite place. Can you go there with me?”

Beau lets her thoughts slip away, and finds herself on that sunny Nicodranas beach, bare feet in the sand, sea mist against her skin.

“Good.”  _ How can she tell?  _ “Now, I want you to take all of those nebulous things that you feel are crowding your mind, and I want you to put as many of them as you can into a box.” Beau does so. She imagines them all as the shells that Jester is so fond of, and she digs up as many as she can find and fills a great box over the ocean with them. She can’t help but feel a bit nervous and just how much there is.   
  


“Don’t be scared, Beau. If you find yourself slipping in the flow, I will be here to help to stand again.” Beau nods. She’s ready for this. “Now then, cut a hole in the bottom of that box, or simply remove the bottom entirely, and let all of what you’ve collected flow out and into you.”

Beau takes a deep breath and opens the box. In her mind’s eye she watches all the hundreds of sparkling shells fall into the ocean.

As soon as the first one touches the water, Beau  _ remembers _ ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mean to spend all day writing 8000 words of fanfiction? No. But then there were emotions and I couldn't stop so. You're welcome.
> 
> Honestly I think the conversation in this one feels a bit stiff. It might get edited up when I'm less tired, it might not.
> 
> Yes, I am making you wait for the Beaujester. It's just how these things work. Plus it'll give me motivation to actually finish, so consider it a good thing.


	4. Denna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter: brief mentions of suicide toward the end. If you haven't read the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount, there's this thing the consecuted do when they feel like they've achieved all of their potential in their current incarnation (which they call "achess") where they have their Umavi assist them with ending their current life so they can move on to their next. There's a very short bit toward the end of the chapter where it's mentioned briefly, but nobody actually dies. So just be aware if you think you would find that upsetting.

“Mama! Up!”

Leylas laughs and bends down to her level, scooping her up by the armpits and placing her on her hip. “Only almost two and such a mama’s girl already,” says Quana, rustling her hair. Leylas rolls her eyes.

“Yes, well, we all know where she gets that from, don’t we?”

“What can I say, she inherited my good taste,” Quana replies, leaning in to give Leylas a quick kiss.

“And your impatience, and your recklessness,” says Leylas. “Did you know I had to stop her from climbing over the gate and down the stairs today? We need a full door put in there.”

“She just wants a little adventure, don’t you little one?” She gives Quana a toothy smile. “Regardless, I’ll have a conversation with the builder. We don’t want her getting hurt or stumbling into somewhere she shouldn’t be.”

Leylas sighs. “I wish I could just bring her with me when I’m working. I hate leaving her upstairs with the nurse.”

“I know,” says Quana. “I miss her when I’m at the barracks, too. But it wouldn’t be fair to her to bring her into the public eye before she’s old enough to make that decision on her own…”

-

She’s only seven when the healers make a diagnosis. Her mothers think she can’t hear the conversation, but she developed an insatiable curiosity and a penchant for getting into places she shouldn’t several years ago. Right now she’s crouched outside the window to the office, having slipped out of the room where she was told to wait.

“What do you mean there’s nothing you can do about it?” Leylas says. She sounds angry.

“It’s a defect in her heart, probably been there since birth, but since that’s what her body considers her ‘healthy’ state, the magic can’t identify it as a problem and fix it. With our current knowledge of healing, we don’t have any way of repairing it magically. There’s a manual surgery that some clerics have been developing, but it’s not exactly… reliable. There’s honestly a better chance it goes away on its own than there is that they could repair it without causing any other damage.” That would be the healer, probably. He just sounds tired.

There’s a moment of silence before Quana speaks. “She’s expressed interest in learning how to fight with me. Will she not be fit enough to train once she’s old enough?”

“ _ What?  _ That’s not fair!” She isn’t able to keep quiet after that. Training alongside her mother is what she wants more than anything else. They all turn to look at the window she’s now standing in; she remembers she was supposed to be hiding and claps her hands over her mouth. The healer and Leylas look surprised, Quana just smiles and walks over to the window.

“And what are you doing down there little one? Didn’t we tell you to wait in the study?” 

She looks down, ashamed. “Yes, mother. But you were talking about me!” she pouts.

Quana laughs as she helps her climb inside the window. “I suppose you have a right to know, hm? Serves us right for thinking we could keep you in one room, anyways.” She turns back to the healer after shutting the window. “If you could answer my question, please?”

The older man shakes off his surprise and answers, “Um. Of course, yes. She, uh, it’s likely she won’t be fit enough to actually enlist, but if anything the exercise will probably be helpful. Just make sure to get her checked up regularly once she begins, and she should be just fine.”

She pumps her fist and looks up at Quana with a smile. Quana smiles back at her. “Good news then, little one! Now, unfortunately, the bad news is I think your mother is going to want to have a conversation with you about what you were doing outside a window  _ on the fourth floor _ .” Her face falls.

“Oh I  _ absolutely  _ do…”

-

“Widen your stance a bit, little one! You are easy to unbalance if you keep your feet that close together!”

She manages to push her feet out and bring up her sword just in time to block a strike from her mom. Or at least, her mom’s shadow. Quana’s taken to using her echos to actually spar with her while she watches from the sidelines and gives pointers.

“Good parry! Again!”

They continue on for about a half hour, before Quana dismisses her echo and offers her a waterskin. “You’re doing well, little one. Let’s take a break.”

She’s thirteen now, and Quana started her training only a few months ago. It’s her favorite part of her lessons, but she can’t help but feel impatient, like Quana’s taking it easy on her because of her illness.

“When do I get to learn echo fighting, mom? I want to be able to fight like you do.”

Quana ruffles her hair, which she keeps short. “Perhaps your mother is right about you inheriting my impatience! You need to master your basics before you can learn to harness your echo, little one. Those of us who are not so magically inclined generally have to wait until we are consecuted, anyways. It makes it easier to tame the dunamis. If you do it before that it will likely take decades.”

“I bet I can learn it in one,” she says with a smirk.

Quana laughs loudly and brightly. “Is that so! Well, then I suppose we’d better get back to it! Let’s see how you do against multiple opponents, shall we?” She pushes her back into the sandpit, and on either side of her a translucent copy of her mom steps out of the shadows…

-

She does it in eight years, just to spite the people that tell her she couldn’t. And to make her mothers proud, of course.

-

At thirty-five, she’s joined Quana’s personal guard. The healers protested a bit, and her mother has her own concerns, but they can’t deny she’s passed every fitness and aptitude test the sergeants could throw at her with flying colors. It was hard work, but worth every drop of sweat just to hear her mom whisper, “I’m so proud of you, little one,” into her ear as she pins the insignia to her dress uniform.

She looks past Quana, up to the throne where her mother sits. It’s Leylas job to look as impassive and regal as ever, but even she can’t help but spare the smallest smile with her daughter as she accepts her new knighthood…

-

She’s fifty-one when her heart breaks for the first time. Her name was Joy, a bright and energetic little tiefling woman who was the light of her life, and she loved her  _ fiercely _ for almost five years before she moved back to Asarius with her family. “We both know you’re not leaving Rosohna, and I can’t do long-distance,” was what she said. That she still loved her, but that it simply would never work out.

The real reason, she was sure, was that Joy didn’t want to be with someone who would barely be considered mature by her own people by the time Joy grew old. Nevermind that her heart meant she wouldn’t likely live much longer than Joy, anyway.

“The downside,” Leylas said as she cries on her shoulder, “to loving as strongly as you do, is that a broken heart hurts all the more.”

“What’s the fucking point, then?” she sobs. “Why do it at all if it hurts this much?”

Leylas takes her face in her hands and wipes away her tears. “Because, little one, when you finally find someone who will cherish you like you deserve, you will shine as bright as the Luxon itself, and it will all have been worth it. Promise me you’ll never stop loving, little one.”

“I promise, mother. I promise…”

-

After Joy, she leans hard into her religious studies, and while she finds the history and philosophy fascinating, the endless meditation is the  _ most boring thing she’s ever done _ . But she keeps at it, stubborn and determined as ever, and when she’s only seventy-three she becomes the youngest drow to ever be consecuted in Den Kryn. 

She sits across from her mother, her Umavi, dressed in ceremonial white robes that she frankly finds horrendously stuffy and hard to move in. A Beacon of the Luxon sits between them.

“Are you ready, little one?” Leylas asks. She nods, a look of determination on her face. “Very well. Place your hands on the Beacon, and I shall help to guide your soul into the Luxon.”

She takes the Beacon in both hands and stares into it as she’s done hundreds of times before, letting her mind expand into the infinite possibilities it represents. This time, however, something beckons her deeper, further into whatever fragment of the cosmos it was shaped from. She feels it surrounding her, pulling her, and as she surrenders it moves  _ through  _ her, nearly pulling her apart before she feels it intertwine with her very being. It feels  _ glorious _ …

And then she’s back in the room, sweat on her brow. Leylas takes the Beacon from her hands and returns it to its pedestal, then wraps her arms around her.   
  
“You are now consecuted, tied to the Beacon and the light of the Luxon for eternity.” Leylas pulls back and smiles warmly, and she can see the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “Now you will always come back to us, little one…”

-

“What more can I possibly do like… like  _ this _ ? I am  _ broken,  _ mother, but if I am reborn then I can be of use again!”

She’s one hundred and seven, and her heart has forced her to give up her position with the guard. It’s the hardest thing she’s ever done, but she’s been getting worse for a while now, and the healers say that continuing to put stress on her heart could cause it to give out.

When she suggests that Leylas accept her declaration of achess and help her move on to her second incarnation, it is the first time in over a century she’s ever seen her mother’s fury directed at  _ her _ .

“Absolutely not! Your disease is in no way an appropriate justification for what you’re suggesting, and even if you were not my daughter I would not approve.” Leylas is actually  _ shouting  _ now, and it’s a good thing they’re having this argument in private, because the angry tears on her cheeks would not be appropriate at all for the Empress of the Kryn Dynasty.

“Little one, please. This is not a decision that should be made in grief. At the very least you should meditate on this choice with the priests,” Quana says, and she has tears in her eyes as well. She doesn’t know if she’s ever seen her mom cry before.

She doesn’t know what to say, how to make them understand that just taking a teaching position would make her miserable. She needs to be able to move, to fight, and she can’t do that anymore. Her words fail her, and she simply curls up in her chair and cries. Her mothers wrap her tightly in a warm embrace, and they stay there, together, until she feels like she can move on…

-

She does end up taking a teaching position, in the end, and by the end of the last four years of her first life she has to admit it’s one of the most fulfilling things she’s ever done. She even gets to assist with three consecutions. 

When her heart finally gives out in her one hundred and eleventh year, she has no regrets, and she passes into the Luxon with a smile on her face…

-

Beau reels, pulling in as much breath as she can as she comes to. It takes her a few moments to gather herself, to remind herself where she is.  _ In the garden on the roof of the Xhorhouse, in Rosohna. _

“Breathe slowly, Beauregard. You are safe.”

Beau’s eyes come back into focus to the sight of Leylas leaning over her, holding her steady. She tries to swallow, but her throat is dry. Leylas offers her a glass of water and she drains it in seconds.

“Let me help you stand, Beauregard, slowly. It has been several hours,” Leylas says, and holds onto Beau’s forearms as she staggers to her feet. Once her head stops swimming, she realizes that despite her exhaustion and the ache in her muscles from holding meditation for so long, she feels  _ amazing _ . Refreshed, she might say if someone asked, but that doesn’t seem to cover it. She feels  _ whole _ .

“Are you back with us, little one?”

Beau looks up at Leylas, who wears a soft smile and moist eyes. She looks at her  _ mother  _ for the first time in twenty-seven years, and she can’t take it anymore. She rushes into her arms, clutches the back of her dress in her hands and buries her face against her neck, and just  _ sobs  _ for the first time in so long.

“Gods, fuck, I missed you so much! I missed you so fucking much and I didn’t even know it until right now.” she cries.

Her mother strokes her hair gently, holds her tightly against her, and lets her own tears fall. Beau can feel them, hot and wet against the side of her head. “Shh, little one. You’re home now. You’ve come back to us.”

They stand like this for what feels like hours more, before Beau finally separates from her, wiping her face and sniffling back any further tears.

“Fuck, it’s been ages since I’ve done that,” she says as she cleans herself up. “Sorry to get your dress all snotty and shit.”

“It can be cleaned. Are you ready to go back downstairs, or do you need a moment alone?” Leylas asks.

“No, no they’re probably getting all worried about me down there. Better make sure Jester doesn’t fret herself to pieces,” Beau says as she stretches out her sore muscles. “Fuck me, I’m stiff. How long did that take?”

“A little under seven hours.”

Beau just stares at her. Her mother laughs. “The first time takes a while. If you require additional help it will be much more brief. And hopefully you will not have to do this again for many, many years.”

“That’s the plan,” Beau says as she starts to head back toward the staircase. “I want to see mom again, too, now that I’ve got most of my memory back. When can I come back to the Bastion?”

“You are welcome home whenever you wish, Beau. We have kept your room as it was these long years, and we had the staff give it a fresh clean today, should you desire to use it again,” Leylas says. “It is quite late however, and I imagine your friends will have more questions. Perhaps you should come tomorrow morning? We will have to get some business sorted out, as well.”

Beau rolls her eyes. “Ugh, I hate paperwork.”

This gets a loud laugh from her mother. “Yes, some things simply cannot be changed between lives!”

“I’ll be there, for sure. I missed you guys so much, I…” Beau stops. “Fuck, this must be how Jester feels every time we go back to Nicodranas, huh.”

“Ah, yes, Jester. I do believe you owe your mom and I some information on that particular subject, no?”

“Mother,  _ please _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey we finished chapter 4 in time for the re-emergence of Critical Role! Something to tide you over for the last 45 minutes, I suppose.
> 
> I decided to go ahead and give this one a bump up to Mature just to be on the safe side.
> 
> We're doing the classic D&D fic thing where we're letting the game mechanics bleed into the story, which means Beau's 13th level is picking up some Fighter from her past life.
> 
> What do you mean my motherhood fantasies are showing, I have no idea what you're talking about


	5. Jester

“I dunno, Caduceus, they’ve been up there for a  _ reeeeeally _ long time.”

Jester is sitting in the kitchen, fiddling with a loaf of bread. She’s been picking at it for like twenty minutes, and she’s accumulated a small pile of crumbs in front of her.

“Leylas did say that it could take a while, Jester. We just have to be patient,” Caduceus responded, calmly peeling potatoes.

“But what if something happens and she gets hurt and I’m not there to heal her or she forgets about all of us and-”

“Jester, we’re all worried about Beau, but running through all the worst case scenarios and massacring innocent baked goods isn’t going to help things go faster,” interrupts Fjord, the most recent member of the Nein to join the “keep Jester calm” rotation, sitting at the other side of the table, nursing a cup of tea.

She looks down at the pile of eviscerated bread in front of her, just realizing what she’s been doing, and slumps her shoulders. “I knooooow but-”

“I hope you didn’t massacre  _ all  _ the baked goods, cuz I’m  _ starving  _ and was promised pastries.”

Jester brightens immediately, jumps up, and spins around to find Beau leaning against the doorframe, same old cocky smile on her face. Jester nearly barrels her over in a tight hug. They stumble backwards, Beau laughing and patting Jester on the back. “Fuck, okay, Jess. Jester! I’m fine, I’m fine, just like, super stiff. I’ve been sitting lotus for like, a million years.”

Jester pulls back and starts looking Beau over. “Do you feel okay? Do you need healing? Cuz like I haven’t cast any spells today so like if you need-”

“Jester! Really, I’m fine! I feel fucking great, actually. Bit tired, but that’s it.”

One look at Beau’s face is all Jester needs to believe her. She’s practically glowing; Jester doesn’t know if she’s ever seen Beau this happy before. She can’t help but smile right back at her; it feels good to see Beau be happy.

“I’ll leave her in your hands, then, Jester? I’m sure she’ll be well cared for.” This is the first time Jester remembers that the Bright Queen is still there. She steps back a bit to let the Empress lean in to Beau for another short hug and a kiss to the forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, little one. Get some rest.”

Beau looks embarrassed; not used to receiving parental affection in front of people, Jester assumes - gods know she didn’t get much of it growing up in Kamordah - but she melts into it regardless. “Okay, mother.” Watching this gives Jester a warm, fuzzy feeling. A bit of homesickness, too, if she’s honest; it’s been nearly a month since they’ve been in Nicodranas, and she can’t help but miss her Mama.

“You’re welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like,” Caduceus says from behind her, sounding like he’s maybe not entirely sure he’s allowed to offer.

Leylas sighs. “Sadly, I must be returning to the Bastion before they send out a hunting party. Please bid the others a good evening for me, Caduceus.”

“Of course.”

The Bright Queen puts on her coat and heads back towards the door. Beau practically sprints into the kitchen where Fjord is setting out plates. “Oh my gods, Caduceus, I fuckin’ love you dude, I’m gonna eat like  _ all  _ of this.”

“Not until after the rest of us get some, you’re not, you heathen,” Fjord says.

Jester watches for a few seconds, then turns and runs after Leylas. “Um, Miss Bright Queen?”

“You can call me Leylas in private, Jester, I- oh!” she says as she turns back just in time to get caught in a hug.

“Thank you,” Jester mutters into her shoulder. 

Leylas strokes her hair and returns the hug. “I’m merely doing what any mother would, Jester.”

Jester frowns. “No, I mean,  _ I  _ know that, but… Beau doesn’t. Or, didn’t, I guess? In this life, or something? I dunno, this is really confusing. What I mean is, her parents were like, the  _ biggest  _ dickheads ever, and she always tried to pretend like it didn’t bother her and stuff, but she always seemed so  _ lonely _ , and like, I’m just really happy that she knows what it’s like to have a Mama like my Mama now. Or like, two Mamas, which is like, twice as good.”

Leylas seems a little taken aback for a moment, then returns the hug even tighter. “I think we should be thanking you, Jester, for being there for her when we could not be,” she says, and she sounds like she’s about to cry. “It makes her absence less painful in retrospect to know that she still found someone who loves her as much as you do.”

Jester steps back and gives her a mock salute. “It is my sacred duty as Best Friend, ma’am.”

The Bright Queen chuckles in amusement at that, but there’s a bit of an undertone to it that sounds… almost sad? “That’s not quite what I meant, Jester, but yes, I suppose that as well.”

Jester tilts her head in confusion, but Leylas just squeezes her shoulder and says, “Goodnight, Jester. Thank you.” Before Jester can ask anymore questions, she’s opened the door, and the guards outside the house are ushering her back towards the Bastion. 

“Jester?” she hears Fjord call from the kitchen. “If you don’t get back in here, Beau’s gonna actually eat all the food.”

Jester decides to file that conversation under “ask the Traveler about later,” and dashes back into the kitchen. “Beauuuu! You gotta save some for me!”

-

A few minutes later, everybody’s managed to find their way into the kitchen, and the questions begin in earnest. Veth kicks things off, as usual, by shouting, “Alright, spill it! What happened with your funky brain stuff?”

Beau shrugs. “Sat down in a garden, blacked out for like six and a half hours, woke up with a hundred and eleven years of extra memories and a sore ass. You know. The usual.”

“You remember everything, then?” Yasha asks quietly.

“Not like,  _ everything,  _ everything. But a lot of it. All the big stuff. The like, defining moments and shit. The important stuff. Mother says all the little stuff, like skills and knowledge and random small memories and whatnot, should all come back bit by bit over the next few months.”

“So you’re just like, calling the  _ Bright Queen  _ ‘mother’ now?” Fjord asks, half a forkful of food still in his mouth.

Beau pauses, like that was something she hadn’t really considered. “I mean. Yeah. I dunno, it feels weird  _ not  _ to now. Like compare a few months of calling her ‘Your Majesty’ and shit to a fuckin’  _ century  _ of calling her ‘Mother’ and one feels a lot more comfortable than the other. Plus like, y’know, she  _ is  _ my mother. My original one, anyways. The one that counts. Or one of two, I guess, which let me say, is fuckin’ dope.”

“If your first life lasted a hundred and eleven years, then that would make you technically…” Jester stops as she realizes she doesn’t actually  _ know  _ how old human Beau is.

“Hundred and thirty-eight,” Beau finished for her. “Technically. Fuckin’ wild right? I’m older than Caduceus!” 

“And you are still, ah… forgive me for asking this,” Caleb starts, grimacing at his own thought. “But you are still yourself, ja? I was correct in my assumptions?”

Everyone goes quiet after that. It was on Jester’s mind, too, she had to admit, but she hadn’t wanted to be the one to bring it up. Not only did it feel a little rude, a little too personal, but she was also kind of scared of what the answer might be.

After a moment, Beau answers quietly, “I mean, I still  _ feel  _ like me. But I guess that would be true if I’d been like, completely replaced, too, huh?” She plays with some of the remaining food on her plate before continuing. “But like, as far as I can tell, it’s a lot like you were saying last night, Caleb. I wasn’t really that much different the first go round, from what I’ve seen. Bit of a mess, penchant for getting into shit people don’t want me in, likes a good fight.  _ Definitely  _ still a lesbian. I’ve been a bit more of an asshole on the second trip but like, that didn’t change.”

She shrugs. “There’s like, some little shit. Some things that I feel more used to than I was. Like it’s hard to see the Empress as anything other than my mom now, and I have to say I’m a bit more fond of the whole constant night shit they’ve got going on. But mostly it’s just I’ve got a bunch of extra knowledge that I didn’t use to have.” She starts smiling, and Jester can’t help but notice a sparkle in her blue eyes. “And honestly? I feel  _ fantastic _ . Like better than I have in, I dunno, like ever. Like my whole life I had this like, empty spot or some shit, and now there’s something there.”

Beau just stares into the middle distance for a moment, then drops the smile and pulls her arms and legs in close. “Sorry, that was fuckin’ depressing.”

Yasha reaches across the table and pats Beau’s leg. “I’m happy for you, Beau, truly.” Everyone else at the table echoes the sentiment. Except Jester, who’s thought of another question. Another question that she’s scared to ask, because it has a wrong answer, and she’s suddenly terrified that that’s the one she’s going to get. But it has to be asked.

“What happens now?”

Beau just stares at her for a minute, and Jester can’t bring herself to meet her gaze. Beau glances back down at the table and sighs.

“I don’t know. I’m going to the Bastion tomorrow and hopefully I’ll have a better idea after that. It sounds like there’s some paperwork that needs to get done, and they’ll have to reintroduce me to the Den. But beyond that…” Beau just kinda waves a hand around as if to fill the gap. “I really don’t know.”

The room feels too small to Jester now. Like where there used to be possibility there’s now just walls, pressing in. “I think I’m gonna go to bed now,” she mutters, and stands up to leave. Beau looks at her, a little confused, but doesn’t move to stop her. 

“Alright. I’ll be up in a little bit, yeah?” Jester just nods as she walks quickly out of the room and up the stairs.

-

Sitting on her bed in the darkness of her room, Jester pulls out one of the little statues of the Traveler out of her bag and sets it in front of her, calling up some of her magic.

“Traveler, if you’re not too busy, I could really use some advice right about now,” she whispers. There’s a gentle movement of air next to her, and a green cloak settles onto the bed beside her.

“I’m never too busy for you, Jester,” Artagan whispers. Jester sighs and leans her head onto his shoulder.

“I don’t know what to do, Artagan,” she says. “I know I’m supposed to be happy for Beau, cuz she’s got two awesome mamas now. But I’m scared she’s gonna leave us now that she’s all important and stuff, and it makes me feel all weird and bad.”

The Traveler brings a hand up behind her and rests it on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “Sadly, I’m going to need some yes-or-no questions, Jester. You know how this works now.”

“Ughhh. This was so much easier when it was just you and me and there weren’t all these stupid  _ rules _ .” 

“I  _ know _ , it’s the  _ worst! _ ”

Jester giggles, and then thinks of her first question.

“Is Beau going to leave us?”

Artagan sighs, “I wish I could say no, Jester, but I don’t think even she knows the answer to that yet. For what’s it worth, I don’t think she wants to.” That helped a little, but not as much as she wanted. She thinks about her next question for a moment, then asks, “Does Beau’s new mama think I’m not good enough to be her best friend? Is that what she was talking about earlier?”

The Traveler pulls her in a little tighter and answers, “No, Jester, of course not. I think perhaps she’s simply looking at a bigger picture. She’s very good at that, you know.” That was a relief, at least.

Jester doesn’t know what makes her ask the last question, but it’s out before she even thinks about it, “Is Beau secretly in love with me?”

Artagan just laughs. “I think she’s already answered that question for you, Jester.”

Jester turns quickly to face him, prepared to be angry about his non-answer, but he’s already disappeared. She just pouts and flops face down onto her bed instead. “Stupid gods and their stupid being-vague-thing.” It was a stupid waste of a question anyways. What did it matter? Jester likes boys, after all. Maybe not Fjord, like she used to think, but he turned out to be completely different than she thought anyways, so that doesn’t mean anything. She’s going to have a fairytale romance with a fairytale prince someday. And Beau knows that. So it would be stupid for Beau to be in love with her. 

That doesn’t stop her from wishing Beau was lying next to her as she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jester, comphet is a real motherfucker
> 
> Still have no idea if Artagan is gonna turn out to be a decent dude or not in real canon, but in this timeline everything is perfectly fine and he only has Jester's best interests at heart because Jester Deserves Good Things Only
> 
> This one's heavy on the Feelings and the Planting of Seeds, but next chapter you're gonna get actually get some Plot, promise


	6. Beau

It’s weird to be standing outside the Lucid Bastion the next morning. It’s weird because yesterday Beau didn’t know the names of half the guards at the door. Yesterday she didn’t remember  _ training  _ half the guards at the door. Yesterday she didn’t know what the best way to sneak past those guards to get into and out of her room on the fifth floor was. 

“Are we going inside, Beau?”

Beau snaps out of whatever trance she’s in as she remembers Jester standing next to her. Jester, who insisted on coming this morning when Beau found herself utterly incapable of refusing. Hopefully it won’t make her mothers’ teasing about the subject even more unbearable.  _ Unlikely.  _

“Yeah, c’mon.”

They make their way to the door leading to the personal quarters and Beau flashes her symbol to the guards. “We’re expected.” They nod and let them pass, shutting the door behind them. The foyer beyond is huge and ornate; magical lamps dot the walls, the floors are made of a deep purple marble, and most of the furnishings are gilded silver. Jester skips a few steps ahead of Beau and spins around, eyes wide. 

“Omg, Beau, is this your  _ house _ ? It’s  _ suuuper _ pretty!” she says, mouth open. 

“I mean, technically it’s my moms’ house, but I have a room upstairs, yeah.”

This seems to make Jester even more excited. “Beau, you have to show me your room!”

Beau laughs. “Uh yeah, in a bit Jess, I think I’m supposed to do, like, some paperwork with mother or something though.”

As if summoned, Leylas enters the room, and quickly crosses it to sweep Beau up into a hug. “Good morning, Beau. I see you’ve brought a guest,” she says, looking over Beau’s shoulder at Jester, who gives her a smile and a little wave. 

Bray steps back and rubs the back of her neck. “Yeah, that’s cool, right? She wanted to see the palace and whatnot.”

“Your house is suuuuuper pretty. It’s like my Mama’s house except… purplier. And with less people.”

“Thank you, Jester. To be honest, we had assumed she would be joining you,” Leylas says with a laugh. Beau feels her face heating up already. “I believe Quana is just finishing up her morning routine in the training room, if you wish to join her?” 

Beau nods, and the three of them walk further into the palace, Jester chatting away with Leylas about all the art she sees on the walls. Beau stays quiet most of the time. It feels strange to be back here after so long, and under such odd circumstances, and she’s just trying to take it all in. 

Eventually they come out into a courtyard area with a tall glass ceiling. Racks of various equipment line the walls alongside a few benches, and the center of the room is dominated by a large sandpit. Quana stands near the entrance they’ve walked through, finishing strapping on her ceremonial armor. Her face breaks into a warm smile as she sees Beau enter, and she barely gets her arms spread before Beau is wrapped around her midsection.

“I missed you, mom,” Beau chokes out. Quana strokes the back of her head as Leylas joins from behind. “We missed you, too, little one. So, so much,” she says softly. It’s overwhelming, being here like this. Not even a week ago she was still trying to unpack all of her feelings from her return to Kamordah, and now here she is, with two loving mothers and a head full of happy memories. 

As Beau breaks away, wiping away the wetness in her eyes that’s threatening to turn into tears, she sees Jester standing only a few feet away. Her eyes are damp, too, but she has the softest smile on her face, and it almost pushes Beau over the edge. She holds out a hand and motions Jester towards her. “C’mon, Jess, I know you want one, too.”

Jester does, in fact, want a hug, and she expresses this by squeezing Beau so tight she can barely breathe and lifting her a few inches off the ground. “I’m so happy for you, Beau,” she mutters into Beau’s shoulder. 

“Ha! She’s a strong one,” they hear Quana laugh next to them. Jester puts Beau down, rolls up her sleeves, and flexes with the toothiest grin she can manage. Beau’s face, ever the traitor, goes so warm she feels like she might catch fire. She tries to casually cover herself with one hand, but her mothers  _ definitely  _ noticed. Stupid human skin, being so much blushier than drow skin.

“Oh, yeah, I’m like,  _ super _ powerful! Not as powerful as Beau, though; she fights better than all of us!”

Beau’s pretty sure she’s gonna lose some toes, because  _ all  _ of her blood is in her cheeks right now.

“Jester, you literally bring people back from the dead; I just punch shit.”

“You can punch  _ ghosts,  _ Beau! That’s pretty fucking powerful if you ask me.”

Quana seems  _ extremely _ amused by the whole discussion. “How about we see exactly how powerful you are, Beau? I’d like to see what you’ve picked up in the last twenty-six years.”

Beau smiles.  _ Now  _ they’re speaking her language. Sparring with Quana was always one of her favorite things, and now she gets a chance to show off to her moms? Seems like a good deal.

“You’re on.”

Quana picks up a longsword from the equipment rack and flips around in her hand, offering the grip to Beau. Beau just smiles and cracks her knuckles. “Nah, I’ve picked up some new tricks. And two new favorite weapons.” Quana shrugs and flips the sword back around, then picks up a second one and starts walking to the other side of the pitch.

“Do try not to injure her too badly, dear,” Leylas says. “She’s got to still be presentable later.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll just heal her up after,” adds Jester.

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, guys,” Beau scoffs, taking up her spot on the opposite side of the sandpit from Quana. Her mom gives her two swords a twirl and Beau a smirk. “Let’s see these new tricks then, little one.”

Beau smirks right back, and then she’s off like a crossbow bolt, clearing the entire pitch in only a couple of seconds. She’s under Quana’s guard before she even realizes she’s next to her, and the two quick blows she delivers are only rebuffed by the armor that she realizes she hasn’t quite remembered how to get past yet. Beau dances backwards out of reach as Quana tries to retaliate. 

“You’ve gotten fast!” Quana calls as she strides forward. “But let’s see how much you remember about fighting  _ our  _ way.” She raises a hand and Beau catches a glimpse of a shadowy, semi-translucent copy of Quana appearing on each side of her before she’s plunged into darkness. It’s a good trick, a way to take away an opponent’s advantages and give the upper hand to the superior fighter. Unfortunately for Quana, Beau remembers that now, and now with the advantage of her Cobalt Soul training she’s more perceptive than ever. She lets her reliance on her vision drop away, focusing on her other senses. Hearing the movement of Quana’s armor and feeling the thudding of her heavy boots on the sand. 

_ There.  _ Beau slips around Quana’s side and delivers a quick series of jabs into the less armored part under her arm, and a final jab against the back of her neck. The darkness clears immediately, and Beau can see Quana locked in place, struggling to regain control of her arms and legs. 

“Yeah Beau! Kick her ass!” she hears Jester shouts, followed by a quick, “Oops, sorry.” to Leylas. Leylas just laughs at her.

Unfortunately for Beau, Quana is still able to direct her echos, and they move in between her and Quana to cut off her attack.  _ Fortunately  _ for Beau, Quana still doesn’t have a good idea of just how fast she is, and manages to run around them for another round of blows. She doesn’t manage to get back fast enough this time, however, and soon finds herself boxed in by Quana and her echos, who unleash a furious salvo of attacks. Six swords swinging from three directions proves a bit more than Beau can reasonably keep track of, and she comes away with several long but shallow cuts.

They continue like this for another thirty seconds or so, Beau using her speed to keep clear of Quana and leveraging the fact that Quana isn’t used to being stunned like that to get in hits of her own. But Quana learns quickly, and Beau soon finds that instead of trying to keep her corralled, Quana spreads out her echos to make sure she can keep Beau in range no matter where she goes. Soon enough, both women are breathing heavy and moving slower, but the tide is starting to turn on Beau, who simply isn’t as resilient in her monk form as she was in her first life. She focuses on keeping her own body moving, and  _ pushes  _ herself to keep going, ducking in for one more attack…

And finds herself flat on her back, six swords leveled at her throat.

The two echos dissolve into shadow around her, and Quana plants her weapons in the sand on either side of her head before extending an arm. “Well fought! I haven’t had a challenge like that in some time; your new experiences serve you well.” Beau takes her arm and lets her pull her to her feet. “I’m proud of you, little one.”

Beau nearly glows at that, and then quite literally starts glowing as Jester runs up to her and starts sealing her wounds and mending her clothes. “That was super cool, Beau! Sucks that you lost, but it was still awesome.”

“She’s got like, nine-ish centuries on me, Jess,” Beau laughs. “Plus I’m pretty sure that’s as close as I’ve ever gotten?”

Quana nods. “I can’t remember the last time I was barely standing after a fight. I’m excited to see what you will be able to do with your new abilities once you’ve remastered echo fighting, should you choose to do so. Those stunning blows were… quite something.”

“Omg Beau, now we can be duplicate buddies!” Jester says, quickly summoning her own duplicate, much to Quana and Leylas’ surprise. Beau considers it, reaching for the memories of her original training.

“Yeah, like, I remember how to do it, mostly? But this body hasn’t got the like, muscle memory or whatever for it yet. I can probably figure it out again with a little practice.” 

Jester’s duplicate skips next to Quana and delivers a quick cure wounds; Quana almost sighs in relief. 

“Keep this one around, Beau, I like her.”

There’s that stupid blush again.

-

After some cleanup and casual conversation, Leylas excuses herself. “I’m afraid we have business to attend to, now. I must take my seat in the court, and we must reintroduce you to my councilors.”

Beau feels butterflies start to run through her stomach. “Oh. Yeah, okay. You haven’t like, told them or anything yet?” she asks.

“No. We wanted to be absolutely certain first, and this is the first time the council has gathered since your meditation yesterday. Quana will bring you in and handle the formalities, and you will have to choose which name you wish to be recorded into the records of the Den, but that is all there is to it. Jester, sadly, will need to remain here. I believe you said she wanted to see your old room; I can have a servant show her there to wait if that is okay with you?”

Jester visibly deflates at the mention of her being left behind, but brightens up again when Beau nods and says, “Yeah, that’s cool. I’ll be back in a bit, Jessie. Do me a favor and only draw dicks on like, three things, yeah?”

“No promises!” Jester calls over her shoulder as she exits the room with Leylas to find a servant. Quana and Beau turn the other direction, and Quana leads her towards the entrance to the throne room. Beau can almost  _ feel  _ the smirk on Quana’s face, and is  _ almost  _ prepared when she says in a lightly teasing voice, “So. What’s going on with you and Jester?”

Beau sighs. “Nothing. Nothing is what’s going on, alright? Like yeah she’s awesome and gorgeous and funny and all that and  _ maybe  _ I have a little crush but nothing’s going to happen. I don’t wanna make shit weird cuz she’s my best friend but she’s like, straight as an arrow.”

Quana raises an eyebrow. “Hm. If you say so.”

Beau opens her mouth to ask what the fuck  _ that  _ is supposed to mean, but never gets the chance, because right at that moment the huge double doors into the throne room open, and Quana directs her inside. In front of them is the throne of the Bright Queen, with Leylas seated upon it in all her glory, and her councilors all in front of her, with one empty seat where Quana would normally be seated. Beau runs her eyes along the line of seats and brings to mind each of their names, before finally landing on a more recently familiar face at the end of the line.

_ Fuck. Essek. _

The goblin woman, Skysibil Abrianna Mirrim, leans forward to peer at the two of them. “Ah, we wondered why you were not seated among the rest of us; I presume you have a matter to bring before us?” She looks down at Beau. “This is one of the, ah… Mighty Nein? Correct? Does it pertain to their group?”

Beau straightens herself up and tries to look as comfortable and confident as possible as Quana steps forward.

“No, only to Beauregard,” Quana says. “If it pleases the court, I have a reintroduction to perform.”

_ That  _ gets their attention. All of the counselors are leaning forward, a mixture of curiosity and confusion on their faces, Essek most of all.

“Following the unlocking of her anamnesis, I return my daughter, Denna Kryn, known in this life as Beauregard Lionett, to the ranks of Den Kryn.”

The silence is  _ deafening _ . Curiosity has turned into shock, and when Beau chances a glance over at Essek he looks like he’s about to collapse on the spot. He struggles to regain his composure and clears his throat to speak. “You are… um. You are certain?”

Leylas speaks up from her place on the throne, voice taking on the professional and regal mask of the Bright Queen. “I assisted with her meditation myself. We are certain.”

The Skysibil leans back in her chair and blows out a held breath. “Well then. That is certainly… unexpected. Welcome, of course! But unexpected. We feared you had been lost, as we hadn’t had an opportunity to relocate our remaining Beacons when you passed,” she says, addressing Beau directly. 

“Slipped through just under the wire, apparently,” Beau replies.

“Indeed,” says the Bright Queen. “We can discuss the ramifications of this, as well as a return to duties, should she desire, in a few months, once her anamnesis is fully resolved. For now, it is simply a blessing to see her returned.” She turns to address one of the other counselors. “Denscribe, if you would?”

The drow man - Denscribe Rylerin Hythenos, Beau recalls - shakes himself slightly, as if just realizing he’s supposed to be doing something, and turns to a page in one of the books on the podium before him. “Ah, um, yes, of course. You may continue to use whatever name you see fit for personal reasons, but for the purposes of your reinduction into Den Kryn, we will need you to select a personal name you wish to use alongside your Den name in our records. Do you wish to keep the name Beauregard, or would you prefer a return to a name of a previous life?”

Beau smiles. “Let’s stick with Beau, I think.”

“Very well. So it is written.”

Leylas steps down from her throne, and Quana motions for Beau to step forward. She bows before the Bright Queen, who completes the gesture by placing her hands under her shoulders and gently raising her back into a standing position. When she speaks, it isn’t the carefully placed voice of the Bright Queen. It’s the warm, loving voice of her mother.

“Welcome home, Beauregard Kryn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyyyyyy I finished another chapter! I just started a new job and I've been doing some writing for my campaign, so you're unlikely to be getting five updates in the span of three days anymore.
> 
> If you didn't read the other notes, Beau's picked up a level in Fighter, bringing her a Second Wind and a Fighting Style; she chose Blind Fighting from Unearthed Arcana. I did actually play out the sparring match for funsies, and Beau did surprisingly well for a one-on-one with an 18th level fighter, which is where I put Quana. It helped that Quana rolled TERRIBLY on all her Stunning Strike saves, even with Indomitable.
> 
> Anyways the new episodes sure are exciting, huh? I don't feel like rewriting anything, so in this universe TravelerCon went off without a hitch and everything was PERFECTLY FINE. Don't even worry about it.


End file.
